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February 9th, 2007
12:02 pm - I MUST be bemused to have to resort to writing an entry
I'm in key skills and it's not pleasant. The time seems to go three times slower than it usually does.
I'm currently extremely happy and things are going well and I'm getting on with stuff and being as productive as I possibly can as well as trying to enjoy myself as much as I possibly can.
LOVE.LOVE.LOVE.
Bulgaria was amazing (that was a month and a half ago over the Christmas holiday) and I really miss it, as usual, but there are so many wonderful aspects of my life here that I'm taking more notice of.
I'm extremely vague but I don't really care. I hope everyone else is well :).
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhappyp.gif) calm
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May 20th, 2006
07:12 pm
It was our last school day on Friday ohhh and it was emotional, obviously :D. Vowing that I wouldn't cry because we'll see eachother on Tuesday when we all have an English exam, I thought I could hold it down but everyone was like WAAAAAH so, you know. :D.
After school ended, the girls and I went to Somerfields to get some pizzas and ice cream and then we went back to Safiyyah's house <333333333. Fun timessssssssssssssssss.
I have pictuuuuuuuuuures:
( Read more... )
I didn't go out to revise today. I didn't revise though haha. But I will now. For half an hour...coz Eurovision is coming on HAHAHA and mother and I are going to watch it!
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November 28th, 2005
06:08 pm
WHO WANTS 2 (OR 1) NINE BLACK ALPS TICKETS?
14th December, 19.oo, Astoria, £11 each.
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May 25th, 2005
09:45 pm
BRACES ARE OFF! THEY'RE LIKE OFF, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE LIKE NOT ON MY TEETH! I WAS LICKIN MA TEETH ALL THE WAY HOME ON THE BUS!...loser =(.
I redone the purple on my fringe. I need to even out the color coz umm the top is proper purple and the bottom is just like okay...Chelsah is the farking hair bestest mentor!
I'm hoping to kidnap lids on Saturday. We shall see =). And Thorpe Park is this Friday AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA =D. I get bare happy...which is sad because it's only for the rides. HAHAH.
I wanna go to the Dome on Sat. Ohmygah, how am I gonna pull that one off to the mother...
That's all for now. Not liek anyone cared anyway =D!
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May 6th, 2005
08:26 pm
My Livejournal is Friends Only.
Please comment to be added; or just to tell me you love me.
X
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April 11th, 2005
03:00 pm
Carlee always does this super cool quizes. So I thought I'd copy her once =D.
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April 8th, 2005
11:59 pm
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April 4th, 2005
09:14 pm
Yuh.
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April 1st, 2005
02:23 am
Oh oh! Sun glasses are so fun!! ..I copied everyone else =D
Uh huh!
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March 30th, 2005
11:24 pm
LIVEJOURNAL IS SO FUCKING MINGING!! I WAS HERE, POSTING AN ENTRY TWICE AND IT GOT FUCKING DELETED. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
Ps. Zara is here <3
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March 20th, 2005
01:48 am
Today I went to Camden. Yeah. And I was being observant of loserish behaviour. Even live porn!And Karina getting 'rowdie', oh she was so brave. And she called people retarted so openly. Don't you love her? ...But it's OK, they deserved it.
I saw Leanne. You couldn't really miss her, what with all the pink and all. And just before she came, Karina erm, rolled over a stone wall. Ahahahaah!
I bought that black rose top that like EVERYONE has, the pretty pink one with skulls that also comes in purple..but it's good, it's cheap n all <3! I am wearing it now.
Jess and Tina and Erd are like, so lovely! I spent most of my time with them and stuff and we all bought like LOTS of dohnuts! =D.
I hung out with Rachel for a while too (although she had to go quite soon) but it was so fun :)...walking next to her however, with my shortass self, was NOT fun. Guh. I felt like SUCH a miggit!
On the tube home I realised I didn't have my house keys so Karina and I went to see Constantine (which turned out to be amazingly good!!!!) at the cinema in Feltham. Whilst we were walking there, Karina befriended townies. Who were actually nice! And they danced in such a cool way to like really cool music!
Yeah well, I am going to sleep now. Karina and I feel SO tired and we just want go to sleep. But before I go, we have pictures.
But I can't be bothered just yet. x
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December 26th, 2004
11:30 pm
Hello!
Life Is Full Of Lubb <3. And Karina IS Lubb Oh Yes She Is! She Came Round Mine On The 23rd And And We Are Lovers Uhuh! Oooh She Is So Lovely!!
Lacuna Coil Tomorrow. YEY! And I Am Going To See So Many People That I Miss Yeeeeeeeeeey And Take Pictoors Of Them With My New Digi Cam =O!!!
And Most Of All I Get To See Karina And Nicole And Chelsea. Life Is Lubb I Repeat! LUBB!
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December 18th, 2004
09:55 pm
~Hewwo!!~
~Today I Went To Camden. Shitty Smelly Camden. But I Went With Chelsea. Lovely Pretty Chelsea. So It's All Good. We Saw Dandy Yey And I Met Gez And Ian. Let The Lovely Gay Parade Begin! I Did Not Wish To Drink Alcohol And Was Not Tempted. But I Did. Grr. But Come On-Baileys Is Beautiful.~
It Got Boring And Was Pretty Cold So Chelsea And I Went To Her House. We Took Piccies :) Yey. And Then We Went To Hammersmith And She Bought A Tiara <3. I Am Glad As She Wore Mine All Day. She Is So Lovely. And Ooh I Made Her Bye Pink Hair Spray And I Sprayed Her Purddy Fringe Pink. Yey.~
~Right. Yesterday Was Also Uber Cool. I Spent Like All Day With Zara. My Zara. And I Spoilt Her As She Is My Love. I Bought Her Stuffs And She Is My Princess. No. She Is My Queen. And She Looked So Pretty With Her New Tiara :). Love You Hunni. Then We Came To My House And It Was So Fun. And We Took Pics. <3 I Love Les Pics.~
~I Am Happy :)~
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December 12th, 2004
04:59 pm
~Hello.~
~Me And Zara Are More In Lubb Now. We Have Plans. Great Plans. Oh Yes LMFAO.~
~I Have Made Up With Le Sex. Yey. Love You.~
~I Am Greatly Missing Karina. I Have Not Seen Her In So Long And I Have Oh So Many Things To Give Her.~
~I Officially Hate Camden. Gah~
~I Am Ill And Frustrated.~
~I Am Seeing Nicole Soon <3 To Get My LC Ticket And She Better Not Run Off As Soon As She Comes. Miss You Bitch!~
~School Is Over Soon. Oh Yes Baby.~
~End.~
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/anksadp.gif) sick
Current Music: evanescence-where will you go?
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December 9th, 2004
09:39 pm - boredom leads to lots of free time
~Do you:~
~Smoke?: No
~Do drugs?: V light ones
~Have a partner?: No
~Have sex?: no
~Sleep with stuffed animals?: My Blue Bunni <3
~Live in the moment?: i try to
~Think you'll get married?: yeah
~Have a dream that keeps coming back?: nope
~Play an instrument?: Piano, some guitar, some drums
~Believe there is life on other planets?: I don't know
~Remember your first love?: Haven't had one
~Still love him/her?: -
~Read the newpaper?: any lying around on the tube :p
~Have gay/lesbian friends?: Yeah
~Believe in miracles?: Not sure
~Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes
~Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Depends how they act
~Like the taste of alcohol?: some
~Fave candy?: hmm i don't know
~Believe in astrology?: yah
~Believe in magic?: guess so
~Believe in God?: gah im really really not sure
~Pray?: at night, twice ^_^
~Go to church? no
~Moving on:
~Have any secrets?: yeh
~Any pets?: nope
~College?: erm eh? Im in high school
~Major?: don't have one?
~Talk to strangers who IM you? wots IM
~Wear hats?: not so much anymore
~Hate yourself?: no
~Wish you were someone else?: quite often
~Have an obsession?: Indeed
~Collect anything?: Make up, any tiny bits I get from friends-they mean so much <3
~Have a best friend?: 2
~Wish on stars?: if one is falling, i give it a go
~Like your handwriting?: yah
~Any bad habits?: being sensitive :@ getting angry easily
~Care about looks?: not that much anymore
~Believe in witches?: stereotypical or the religion?
~Satan?: well yeh, good n bad, God and Satan etc
~Ghosts?: I think so
~Trust others easily?: Yeah and I hate it when they let me down :(
~Like noise? Music?: very much so
~First thing you think of:
~I see: piano
~I need: antibiotics :(
~I find: I need a change in life
~I want: money coz I need so much stuff :(
~I wish: I was happy, I was Loved
~I love: Music, my friends, stripy things, eye pencil, glitter, le word trash. Zara and Karina. O_o that was a long list
~I hate: evilness
~I miss: Mitko, not knowing what real life is like?
~I fear: death
~I hear: Assemblage 23? and the tv in the other room
~I smell: pantene in my hair
~I crave: popcorn
~I search: for luff :p
~I wonder: How often people lie to me?
~I regret: being cold-hearted to le famoly
~I cried: Last week
~Last time you.:
~Bought something: yesterday, aero bar :)
~Danced: Sunday
~Were sarcastic: earlier on today
~Kissed someone: Sunday
~Talked to an Ex: yest
~Had a nightmare: last night grrr
~Last book you read: Last of the Wicca series coz im just so cool :s
~Last movie you saw: house on haunted hill. i am so old ...
~Last song you heard: Assemblage 23-Disappoint
~Last thing you had to drink: Water
~Feeling this moment: empty
~Favorites:
~Band: Assemblage 23, Nightwish
~Show: Le Simpsons, Friends, Will and Grace
~Movie: Blair witch project 2, Bring it on <3
~Song: Assemblage 23-Sun
Current Mood: Empty...
Current Music: Assemblage 23-Surface
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December 6th, 2004
08:23 pm
hElLo! RiGhTiOo sO On sAtUrDaY I WeNt tO HoWsLoW CoZ Im sO CoOl? AnD It wAsN'T ThAt bAd yOu sEe aNd i wAs aLl pInKeD Up sO I FeLt lIkE EnCoUrAgInG ThE PiNk bEhAvIoUr! LoL. i wEnT WiTh lE MuM <3 aNd iT WaS GoOd tO SpEnD TiMe wItH HeR WiThOuT WaNtInG To mUrDeR HeR? aNd i bOuGhT A BlAcK LoNg cArDiGaNy cOaT ThInG (iT'S PuRrDy oK!!) aNd i bOuGhT A PiNk aNd bLaCk sTrIpEy jUmPeR! yEy! ThEn i wEnT HoMe aNd cHaNgEd iNtO Le jUmPeR AnD Le fRiLlY SkIrT+PiNk aNd bLaCk tIgHtS AnD ThE CaRdIgAnY ThInG AnD WeNt tO ZaRaS <3<3<3 aH I LoVe hEr sO MuCh!! aNd iT WaS So fUn wItH HeR AnD We sMoKeD WeEeEd bUt iT WaS So sHiT AnD DiDnT Do mUcH. mAyBe i dIdN'T TaKe eNoUgH?~
~AnD On sUnDaY I WeNt tO SuBvErSe wItH ZaRa aNd oUtSiDe i sAw dAn!!! YeEeEeEeEy! AnD ThEn hE GaVe mE SoMe aLcOhOl wHiCh wAs uBeR StRoNg (OoH DaN U AlWaYs hAvE ThE BeSt aLcOhOl :O In lItTlE ViTtEl bOtTlEs!) hAhA AnD ThEn hE GaVe mE 2 BrAcElEtS-OnE PiNk aNd oNe bLaCk yEeEy. AnD ThEn i gAvE HiM My sTrIpEy bLuE AnD BlAcK ArM BaNd tHiNg :) AnD A PoPpEr lOl wHiCh hIm aNd kArInA No dOuBt iNdUlGeD In aT MaChInE HeAd :P. rIgHt aNd tHeN I WeNt iN AnD LeFt mY StUfF In lE LoCkEr. WeLl aFtEr tHaT It wAs pReTtY CrAp aNd i fElT ReAlLy sHiT..tHe wHoLe nIgHt iN GeNeRaL WaS ReAlLy cOoL BuT It wOuLd'vE BeEn gReAt iF CeRtAiN PpL WeRe tHeRe aNd oThErS WeReN'T. oOoH AnD I SaW PuRrDy jAkE, hE HaD A HaT On aNd hE LoOkEd sO SwEeT AwWwWwWw! OoOh aLsO I BoUgHt a tRaShY BlAcK StRiNg tOp tHiNg wItH PiNk nEtTiNg oN ToP AnD It lOoKs sO CoOoL AnD A BlAcK AnD PiNk hEaD BaNd. OoH PiNk <3. aNyWaY. i gOt hOmE AfTeR SuBvErSe aNd rEcIeVeD A TeXt fRoM ZaRa aBoUt hEr dAd hAtInG Me aNd hOw wE CaNt hAnG OuT AnYmOrE. lOl aNd aLsO FuCk. I HaTe wEn pPl hAtE Me :( BuT LoL ZaRa's lIkE OxYgEn sO ThAt's nOt gOnNa hApPeN U SeE!! *hUgS ZaRa* AnD AlSo i aM UpSeT FoR NoT SeEiNg kArInA FoR So dAmN LoNg!!! AnD NoT HaViNg sEeN BrAdD YeT. gAh. Ok tHiS EnTrY Is tOo lOnG AlThOuGh i cOuLd wRiTe lOtS LoTs aNd lOtS MoRe. GaH. ~
~AlsO i aM vERY hApPy aBOut rEaliSing ThaT SomeOne I rEaaLLy LikeD TurNed OuT To Be a ComPLetE Bitch. I gUeSs Ppl Don'T cHangE. aND i Am VeRY AmuSeD At BiTCHynEss As It IS so Sad? :)~
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Wumpscut-Black Death
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December 3rd, 2004
08:51 pm
yes hello. life sucks? yah it does...ooh 'depressed ickle goffik talking' gah. I am though, im not depressed, i am just angry at so much shit! At myself and my family and my 'friends' and my life? Yeh. And I am going downhill in every single one of those aspects *nods*. in school i now officially suck. My friends seem to be getting sick of me. My family hate me and I hate them and I can't help it. I am getting sick of myself. And why is it that when I get so angry I just cry? I have cried all this week, once each night. Yerp. What is wrong with me? I want to shut down, fuck. I mean computers need to be restarted, why can't I be restarted? Coz I'm sick of doing the same routine life and the going round in the same circles filled with unhappiness and anger. I am so angry.
Current Mood: sick of everything
Current Music: VNV Nation-Beloved
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November 24th, 2004
08:44 pm
~I shall do what Erd did. He's a genious, he is. I will do a self analysis. Go Erd.~
~Right. The Famoly ~My family are nice to me. They wish I was a better person. I wish I was a better person. I am just not nice, warm, huggly, I'm not a family girl. It saddens me greatly you see, but what can I do? I hate pretending, I hate lying, I hate being who I'm not. And I am definately not who they wish I was. It's weird, it's like you know you love them but you don't LIKE them. The only person I really talk to is my mum and quite often actually, she knows all this stuff but I can't be with anyone else the way I am with her. Me and her have just been independant for like ever, now I have a sister (3) and a stepdad and all and it's just...I'm not (and never will be) used to it. And also I'm quite selfish. Like mum said "You don't have to be completely pretending, just enough to make them be happy and make them think that you care :(...*sigh*) and I wish I could do that but I just can't! And then any time I try and be all nice, they're all there analysing me and watching me and it's like I get paranoid and think *ooh do they think I'm being fake and stupid* and so like I'm stuck in the middle. Grr what a STUPID problem I have! I'm lucky enough to have a family who love me and reach out to me, it's just that I'm stupid and pathetic and in a sick way I just CAN'T be nice!! :(~
~School/Education~School's going crappy. i'm intellegent, really, I am. I'm just so fucking lazy that I don't bother. I can do SO much with my life and with school and stuff, but I just DON'T. Even so, I'm in the highest things for almost everything, but why should I care? I don't work hard for it all or earn it, I'm just doing whatever. And recently it's all started going downhill. Test results are shitty, I don't do homework, I don't pay attention. I'm just stressed out!! And I hate my life so it affects my schoolwork as well. I hate how hectic things are, I hate how quickly life flies by me without me properly understanding what's happening, I hate how little time I have, I hate how I never get enough sleep, I hate how horrible I am to people sometimes when I don't mean to, I hate my paranoia and I hate how I can't change any of the above! So yeah, wow, reading back, my life's going great :) *sigh*~
~Friends/social life~Right. Well I only have a few true friends and I'd hate to lose them and I hope I never do. They be Zara and Karina and yep! That's it. I love all my friends, but those two are just the ones who care about me and listen to me and like to help (well, at least so it seems) and I always want to be there for them and help them too because if they aren't happy, I guess I don't feel whole. I love them to PIEEEEEECES!! My other friends I also love verrry much, and recently i've been starting to develop a luff for Chelsea <3 and I am glad for it :). As far as social life goes, I need a change. I'm sick of hanging around Camden all the time, it's so annoying. I like the ppl and all but I'm so damn SICK of the whole routine, I need a change and I'd like to meet new ppl too. So for a while I'm going to try and avoid Camden and just hang around with my closest friends at other places. ~
~Relationships~Well, I can honestly say I've never been in one. A proper one. Mine are all so quick and I used to get scared of clinginess :O but now I want someone who cares for me and loves me (thinks of Carlee and Paul/Dan and Rachel <333). It's not a neccessety in my life and all, I just think it would make life easier. Aww it'd just be so luffly to know there's someone who cares about you that much :). ~
~Financial stuff~ Grr this bit SUCKS!! I have NO money. Well I do and it's not enough for all the stuff I so desperately need and want and with Christmas and all it's going to drive me CRAZY! I am so worried. How, HOW can i make more money for myself!! I mean a job?? Come on, I don't have time for a job! I don't have time for anything, let alone a job. If I get one, I'll literally be a walking zombie, exhausted and sleep deprived and all gaaah I'd go mental. All I know is I need money and I need it NOW.
Hmm, what a sucky entry, nothing's going good! :(
Oooh, I must have at least a positive thing
~Hopes/plans-Right. I am planning to purchase black and purple hair falls from Leanne (need to get money for that too :( grr), planning to meet Bradd this Sat-go to Birmingham, planning to get my Nightwish ticket this Friday, to sleep over Karina's house both on Friday and Saturday, to start playing 'Don't Speak' on teh piano for my music exam, planning to get a stripy black and purple jumper, planning to start trying to act a little more civil to les famoly, planning to start getting more sleep. Planning to try and be happy :(~
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November 20th, 2004
09:47 pm
~Again, the luffly livejournal is being updated...it's been so long like a day lol~
~Today I went to Camden...how suprising eh?? I'm only down there like every weekend..Anyway and I got very drunken, oh yes indeed and almost fell that wasn't so pleasant. But I had lovely people taking care of me so that was cool :). I also cried today as I was called ugly by this foreign guy and this other random guy who Lindsy asked 'Is she pretty?'...i just felt so fucking upset and i was all drunk and i just broke down and started crying :( It was so horrible. I also ate meat and I feel so bad but I didn't realise I had until afterwards grrrr.~
~Highlight of my day was being with Chelsea for most of it though, she's so lovely and sweet and she understood everything I told her today and she seemed to be thinking the same things as me. It just made me feel so happy and not alone because lately, it's how I feel.~
~I'd like to make a change in myself, I can't keep running away and because it makes the problems that I have seem distant, but not go completely and in the end I go back to them. And I think I realise that there are a few people who actually care about helping me and care about me..I hope I'm not wrong about them. And Karina, you're definately one of them. I love you <3~
~Oooh, depressing day for Niky :), she shall go and watch Moulin Rouge now~
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November 19th, 2004
07:11 pm
~Hello again~
~I'm listening to Enya and it's so pretty...makes me feel happy and perfect and uplifted and away from where I am and into another place <3~
~Makes me write poems...~
When will the time suppress us both?
When we will be uplifted from this grief
And joined together, as we should be
When will the clouds around us lift
So that the sun is visible and we are it’s children
Being loved and embraced by it
When will I cry out for the last time
In agony and regret
And when will time heal me
When will I forget?
I wish to run away with you
Where no one will find us
And your smile
Will be my world
And my touch will
Will be your all
Leave yourself to me
And let us dream together
And await the day when it will all be true
And it’ll just be me and you
Obscure_Synthasia Poetry
Current Mood: Wishful
Current Music: Enya-Love song
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